


bad days come back, whatever

by henwens



Series: we'll never give this up [1]
Category: The Road Within (2014)
Genre: Established Relationship, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 11:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/henwens/pseuds/henwens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years later, the three move into their own apartment, working each day towards recovery and stability.</p>
<p>Alex believes they've grown, evolved, into something special. In many ways, though, they still reflect their younger selves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	bad days come back, whatever

**Author's Note:**

> This is very simple and sweet, kind of an exercise to get back in the swing of writing. Also, this film was a lot of fun and I really wanted to explore this relationship a little. I watched quite a few videos on what it's like to live with Tourette's, OCD, and recovering from an eating disorder, so I hope that I portrayed an accurate experience and don't mean to generalize or offend. 
> 
> A few warnings for language and the discussion of eating disorder recovery, relapse, mental health issues, and drug treatments. 
> 
> Title taken from the song "Let's Go" by Stuck in the Sound.

“Well, that was a— _shit fuck_ — disaster,” Vincent tore into the apartment, rubbing furiously at his face to dismiss any sign of a tic. Alex and Marie shared a brief glance and scooted away from each other on the couch, leaving room for Vincent to nestle in between them. He immediately sunk into the soft cushions.

Marie looped an arm around Vincent, and Alex closed the gap between them, though he kept his hands tightly grasped together on his lap. “What did Nelson tell you?” he asked.

Vincent made a clicking noise and turned his head at a violent angle, before letting out a sigh. “He’s ‘confident in improvement’— _hrm_ —and wants to up the dosage from last time— _shit_ —and…” another click, turn of the head. Alex reached over tentatively and took his hand, Vincent squeezing tightly. He saw Marie give him a flicker of a smile.

“Was that what you wanted?” Marie asked. Vincent shrugged a few times.

“I don’t know. I don’t know— _oh_ —what I want to feel like,” he shook his head and sank back farther into the cushions.

Alex remembered when Vincent had been put on a neuroleptic last year to gain control of his tics. It had been tough on all of them—Vincent had felt more confident going out in public, and they did see a reduction in his outbursts. But Vincent had also been slower, almost sedated, and had developed a tremor that worried all of them. In an effort to decrease the side effects Dr. Nelson had taken him off the drug, and after that Vincent’s tics had returned in full. Now that he wanted to put Vincent back on a higher dose, Alex had no idea what to expect.

“You can always say no,” he said softly. “You’ve been improving so much.”

Vincent nodded, seemingly lost in his thoughts.

“We should have gone with you,” Marie said. At Alex’s panicked look she rolled her eyes. “I would have.”

“It’s alright guys,” Vincent flashed them a smile, blinking furiously. “Just give me a moment.”

There had been improvement after all these years at least. Vincent’s tics would flare up with anxiety, and when they were in public, but in quiet moments when it was just the three of them they would diminish to only a few motor and vocal tics.

Alex locked eyes with Marie once again, her face full and her eyes shining. Improvement here, as well. Marie had put in more time in recovery than either of them, and though it had not been all good for her—she still had panic attacks at the thought that one day she would have to go back to a strict, almost institution-like environment—she had learned to recover and find confidence in herself. Alex felt the heat rise to his face as she winked at him. Perhaps that too had been a result of their relationship.

Vincent’s hand tightened around Alex’s once more and he smiled up at them from his place on the couch. “And how was your day— _fuck_ —fuckers?”

Marie laughed and leaned in, kissing him soundly on the mouth. “Watching Project Runway with Alex— _so_ much fun. Especially with the volume so low all I can hear is his breathing.”

Vincent brayed out a laugh. “Still eleven, sweetheart?”

Alex blushed at both the assumption of his compulsion and the term of endearment. He wasn’t sure when this had come about, but eleven was his newest obsession. He felt for sure that something terrible was going to happen if he didn’t see this number at least once a day, and the volume setting of the television was the easiest thing to control.

“There’s power in numbers, you know,” Alex said, defending himself. “Humanity has believed this for centuries.”

Vincent and Marie smiled back at him, and Alex relaxed. He knew that he didn’t really have to defend himself to them anymore; they had all grown so familiar with each other’s strengths and weaknesses, making it easy to forgive any perceived flaw in their recoveries. Occasionally, Marie would cry at dinner, or lock herself in the bathroom for a few hours, Vincent and Alex waiting anxiously on the other side of the door. Last month Vincent had had a fit that left him spasming on the ground in something akin to a seizure, Marie cradling his head to keep it from hitting the floor as Alex stared helplessly at his phone waiting for the strength to call 911.

Marie had screamed at him, but Alex could not help but feel that the apartment would crumble in on them if he touched those buttons.

“This is it, Alex,” she had yelled. “This is the bad thing! Dial the number!”

In the end, he couldn’t, and he sat next to Vincent as the other man stilled to a stop. Marie collapsed into tears when he blinked his eyes at them and thanked them for staying there with him. Alex threw his phone at the wall in frustration and retreated to his room, slamming the door eleven times before burying himself under his covers.

Vincent had found him that way, what seemed like hours later. He had come in without asking, much to Alex’s dismay, and sat on the side of Alex’s bed.

“I’m okay,” he had said, sniffling. Alex wasn’t sure if that was a tic or if Vincent had been crying. He wasn’t sure which he hoped for.

“I failed,” Alex said miserably. “Marie knows it. Now you know it. I was just trying to keep us safe, but I failed.”

Vincent’s chuckle was low, came from his chest. It made Alex feel unbearably warm. “Sometimes shit— _fuck_ —like this will happen, and it’s okay. We all have our faults, and that’s why we all need to be here for— _hmm_ —each other. You don’t think I’m embarrassed about what just happened?”

He was rubbing his knuckles against his chest, and even in the low light Alex though he saw dark spots blooming on the other man’s skin. “Were you… hurt badly?” He asked.

Vincent shrugged, his shoulders moving up and down, up and down, in a rhythm only he knew. “Only a little. That was the first— _hrm—_ first time that’s happened like that in— _hrm_ —a while— _fucking fuck_.”

Alex saw Vincent’s body begin to wind up with anxiety, and wished that Marie were here. She would probably be avoiding him for the next few days though. Alex reached out a shaky hand, his mind betraying him with thoughts of the germs, illnesses, and disasters that might occur if he touched Vincent. He also knew that something wonderful might happen. Sure enough, Vincent took his hand happily, and reached down, pressing a kiss to Alex’s lips.

“This okay?” He whispered in the low light. Alex could only nod, overcome with emotion.

The three of them had been in this relationship for a few years now, since a few months after taking that fateful road trip. Marie and Alex had returned to an institution setting, while Vincent had chosen to see out medical help and seminars that emphasized self control. They had stayed in touch through it all, Marie and Alex becoming closer than they had been in the strict atmosphere of the center, Vincent visiting them when he could catch a ride. Marie and Vincent had “dated,” if you could call it that, and then split for a brief, riotous time. Alex had tried to bridge the gap between them, feeling the pull from both. It had driven him to a period of intense anxiety, but that was always alleviated when he was in the presence of either Marie or Vincent. He knew what they did for him, and he wanted them back together, even if it meant he might lose something.

When Marie kissed him one night at the center, he felt a bubble of panic— _this is how I die_. Her lips were a little chapped, hot and red because she was finally getting some of her health back. She had made a grab for his crotch and he had shrieked, Marie pulling back in surprise, her face contorted and upset.

“I’m sorry,” she cried, and he could only sit there shaking his head, trying not to imagine what might have happened if he let that continue. It turned his stomach, thinking of flesh on flesh, but Marie’s presence had been a constant comfort to him for months now.

“It’s alright,” he had said. “But you should be with Vincent.”

She was shaking her head. “I see how you look at him, and he looks at you. I don’t need to get in your way anymore.”

She had run off with that, and the next morning Alex heard of her breakdown at breakfast, the caretakers putting her on lockdown for the day until she could calm down. It was Vincent’s visiting day, he suddenly remembered. With a sick drop of his stomach, Alex wondered if maybe she hadn’t planned for this.

He told everything to Vincent, sitting on a bench close to the exit, the other boy listening in shocked fascination, only interrupting a few times to let out a tic.

“Well?” Vincent asked, the word coming out like a cough. Alex bristled.

“Well what?”

“I don’t— _oh_ —I don’t know what you want from me.”

Alex paused for a long while. “I don’t know either.”

Vincent leaned in then, hesitating, waiting for Alex to push him away. Alex winced at the other boy’s warm breath tickling his cheek, trying not to think about much of anything, and then Vincent brushed his lips to his and Alex’s mind went mercifully blank—for all of one second. Once Vincent tried to muscle his tongue into Alex’s mouth, his arm shot out and pressed a hand to Vincent’s stomach, not pushing but certainly holding at a safe distance. Vincent chuckled.

“Why not have us both?” He said, turning his head suddenly to the side. Alex flushed a brilliant red and saw that Vincent was a similar color.

“I want to— _to_ —move on with my life, Alex,” Vincent was saying. “And I want you both to still be a part of it. I’ve been looking at apartments with my dad, wanting to move out on my own, and I think with the two of you at my side I could do it.” A rush of breath. “I think we could all do it.”

And now, years later, this is where they were. Marie held out her hand to Alex and he took it, running his thumb across the sharp line of her wrist. She shuddered and Vincent pulled her closer. Marie had come the farthest, had fallen the farthest, had dedicated so much time to her recovery and had succeeded. They told her so often how proud they were of her, and sometimes Alex saw a look in her eyes and knew she believed it.

Alex tilted his head down and pressed it to Vincent’s shoulder, one tic jostling his head before the other man stilled with a smooth sigh. Marie was nestled against Vincent’s other shoulder, and Alex leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Sick,” she whispered with a laugh, and Alex pulled a face.

“Don’t mention it,” he said, but felt a smile growing on his face as well. Vincent’s arms were strong around them, and he felt his eyes begin to drift closed.

“Love you guys,” Vincent said, the words coming through in a rush, as though he were afraid of being interrupted by his own body. Alex nestled in closer, opening his mouth, but Marie beat him to the punch.

“Love you too,” Marie said, squeezing Alex’s hand. Her eyes flashed with competition and the three of them laughed in harmony.

“Love you,” Alex said anyway, and let himself feel safe in the moment.


End file.
